Welcome to Serenity
by kendershire
Summary: Part Two. The Elrics brothers find themselves thrown into a world of spaceships and gunfights on their quest to vanquish the next homunculus on their list. In all of the chaos, can they accept the help of a ragtag crew of smuggler? Will they even have a choice?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there to all of my previous readers, ready to continue on Ed and Al's journey! Welcome to all of you who are just jumping on board as well! You should be able to hop right in to the story, but if you want to read the first installment, titled Welcome to Hell (A Fullmetal Alchemist/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover), you can find it on my page. It does have season six and seven spoilers though. Some Buffy will be discussed in this story, but I will try to keep it spoiler free besides some Spike spoilers. **

**This will follow the canon of Firefly, but not the canon of Serenity. I promise it's for plot reasons and not just because I really love certain characters and don't want them to be dead, although that might be a tiny bit of the reason.**

**Quick shout-out and thanks to the super awesome finstermunker for creating Topos 6 for me, and to kaibalikeaboss for kicking my ass and making me sit down and write. Enjoy! Or not. Leave me a review about your strong opinions on the matter.**

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter One**

**In a Galaxy Far Far Away**

Space was an awfully big place, so Malcolm Reynolds wondered why he spent so much of his time in it avoiding people. Surely he did not have so many enemies that he would run into one everywhere he flew. Unfortunately it seemed that way. Be it Alliance or someone with a more personal grudge, the crew of the Firefly class ship: _Serenity_ was having a pretty hard time as of late. It seemed there was nowhere they could go that wouldn't end up with someone falling into a spot of trouble and then some.

It had been nearly three weeks since their last job. Even worse, they were sitting on a mother lode of cash but had no way to get a pay-off. The Lassiter laser pistol was worth a fortune to say the least, but four months of trying to fence the damn thing proved that no one wanted to deal with something so well-known. They needed money to keep the ship flying, and out of the Alliance's grip.

That's why Mal was thinking about going somewhere he had sworn to never set foot again. And for a very good reason. He liked living, was very fond of it in fact, and going back to Topos 6 jeopardized that. Some powerful people on that rock wanted him dead, and preferably by their own hands. He wouldn't even be within a few parsecs of the _gou cao de _place if he weren't so desperate.

"He's not even listening to me! Mal! Hey, Mal!"

"Sorry what?" Mal turned to look at Wash, who was glaring at him from the pilot's chair. Zoe stood next to him, a hand on her husband's shoulder.

"You know, it would be great if you actually paid attention when I was talking. I'd like to have a say in whether or not we steer Serenity somewhere where we will most likely be skinned alive by a terrifying Russian lady. Since it, you know, kind of effects how long I will remain alive. I don't think that's too much. Do you?"

"Apologies Wash, I was thinkin' along those lines myself. Far as I can tell we don't got any other options. I'd love to stay away from Topos 6, but you know well as I do we got to get rid of the Lassiter. Now Zoe, if you've got a better plan now would be the time to speak up."

She looked down at Wash, and then back at him. "I sure wish I did, sir. No such luck I'm afraid."

"Let's just toss the Gorram Lassiter out the airlock and hoof it out of this quadrant. The money isn't worth the risk!"

He had a point. Mal had been hoping there was some way to make even a small amount of money off of the laser pistol, but maybe Wash was right. Did he want to risk the lives of his entire crew? But was the risk any worse than it normally was? Weren't everyone's lives always in jeopardy with how often they were running from the law?

Mal was once again distracted, this time by hurried feet coming up the corridor. River practically burst into the cabin, followed immediately after by her brother.

"No!" she yelled, stopping in front of Mal. "We have to go! We have to land!"

"What in the hell-"

"River!" Simon admonished, grabbing gently onto her shoulders. "You can't run off like that! Leave the captain alone-"

"No!" She shrugged him off and stared up at Mal. "We can't leave. We have to land on Topos 6! We can't leave them there!" She looked on the verge of tears. "They need us!"

"They?" He gave Simon a glance. Did her brother know what River was talking about? No, he seemed just as clueless. "Who's they?"

"Our friends! They are gonna arrive soon, very soon! We have to go get them! They need our help! Hurry!" She was frantic, and clutched at Mal's shirt. "I can feel the Gate! It's putting them there! Right where it put the bad man! The bad man is still there! We have to help them stop him!"

Grabbing her wrists, Mal carefully pulled her away from him, and into the embrace of Simon. "See if you can get her to calm down. Now what in the hell is she going on about?"

"Some folks on Topos 6 need our help?" Zoe mused. "But who? And why does River know about it? Surely you don't know anyone living there, Dr. Tam?"

"No," Simon sighed. "She's been like this all morning, screaming that we have to go meet our friends. I even gave her a sedative. It hasn't seemed to affect her in the slightest. Maybe we should land and see if it calms her down. I'm really at a loss here."

"Sir, if we land we have to try and fence the Lassiter. Otherwise, it ain't worth the risk of landing." Zoe stated.

"Yeah! And then we can meet up with River's friends and have a tea party! Maybe a certain mob boss and her big henchmen will want to join us as well. Hell, maybe they're even the same people! Won't that be lovely?"

"Wash, your sarcasm is not appreciated. You forget that Zoe and I do have an old friend there. One of the few who don't actually wanna shoot us. If we can get to them we can get the pistol fenced, River here appeased, and be gone before any of us even hear so much as a Russian accent."

"You sure about this, sir?" Zoe had to check, just to be sure. Mal knew she would go along with whatever he decided. And he was decided.

"I am. Wash, set a course for Topos 6. Zoe, inform the rest of the crew. I'll be in my room, figuring out how we're gonna pull this off." He had a feeling though, that nothing was going to go as planned. All he could do now was hope he had made the right decision.

Experiencing the sensations of weightlessness and falling at the same time was disconcerting. He seemed to have a little better sense of self than his previous trip through The Gate. All of him had made it through, at least. Now if he could just get any part of him to function he would be off to a great start. He'd started with the eyes before, so he started with them again.

Okay not so good. His head swam and he blinked several times to try and clear away the purple spots dancing in front of his eyes. Try number two went a little better, and he could see hazy shapes. Sensation came next. He was lying down on cold cobblestones. The sudden return of olfactory senses told him this was an alleyway as he was hit with the lovely fragrance of filth. He coughed and spluttered, eyesight finally going normal.

He heard a groan and scrambled up way too quickly to get a look at his brother, who was lying about ten feet away, on the other side of the alley. "Alphonse! Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah," Al managed, "That trip was better when I was unconscious."

Edward Elric couldn't help but grin. "You all accounted for?"

"Well I'm obviously still not a suit of armor if that's what you mean. But yeah, no harm done here I think." That was a relief. The Gate had promised them Al's full body in return for tracking down and destroying all of the homunculi who had jumped into alternate worlds and scattered. Ed had been so surprised when they arrived in the first world and Al had already been given his body back. The Gate was playing dirty, to make sure that the Elrics knew exactly what they were losing if they failed. Part of Ed had feared Al would be put back into the suit after the first world, as insurance so they wouldn't get cocky.

"How's your strength? Can you move properly? We don't need to re-teach you anything again, right? Without the spells Willow and Giles cast, it will take forever to get you back up to-"

"I'm fine, brother!" Alphonse sat up and rolled his eyes. "Or I will be once this headache goes away. More importantly: where are we?"

That was a very good question. Scanning the alleyway for clues, Ed managed to stand up. There were some posters pasted to the wall advertising alcohol and what appeared to be a strip club. A couple of posters, however, were written in a language he couldn't understand. It looked very similar to the language used in Xing. The alchemist sighed. Who knew what this world was like? The last one had magic. Magic. That had been hard to swallow. A world where people came back from the dead and fought vampires, and sometimes even befriended them. This world could have anything in store.

"Well I don't think we are gonna get anywhere in this nasty old alley," Ed wrinkled his nose. "Let's try and find a market and ask some questions. You're cute, Al. People like to answer your questions."

"Am not cute!" the younger Elric demanded, pouting.

"Sure sure you're ferocious. Let's just-"

"Well look'ee here boys what I done found." Ed turned to find four men standing at the entrance of the alleyway.

"Looks like a coupl'a lost kids. Think we should give'em some direction? See'in as we's such friendly folk an' all." The man grinned, revealing a mouth full of yellowed, rotting teeth. "For a price. You have stepped into Red territory after all."

Ah. This place was probably ruled by opposing crime syndicates or gangs. They needed to get out of this territory, to somewhere safer. "Sorry, pal but I don't let thugs push me around. Now my brother and I are gonna walk out of this alley, and you fine gentlemen are going to tell me the fastest way to get out of Red territory."

A quick glance at Al told him that his brother was ready for a fight.

The man cackled and snarled, "No one insults the Bratja like that and gets away with it! Teach these here children a lesson boys!"

But they were too slow. Ed was upon the first thug before the others had barely taken a step. The heel of his palm came up swiftly under the man's nose, and he felt the cartilage shatter. An automail knee to the gut sent him sprawling on the ground, shouting in a language Ed didn't understand. Swinging to the left to avoid a punch from the second thug, he heard Alphonse grappling with the third man before he landed a solid hit to the second thug's face.

"Gun!" Ed heard Al shout. Looking down he kicked the weapon away from the previously prone thug before smashing the offenders hand into the ground with his boot. The second thug grabbed for him, and it was child's play to flip the poor guy right on top of the first thug. He turned to take on the fourth man and froze with fear.

The fourth man had a gun pointed right at Ed. He heard the click of the hammer. If he dived out of the way fast enough he could-

The gun went off. Ed threw himself to the side, but he could tell he'd moved too slowly. He waited for the impact of the bullet, but the only impact was that of him falling to the filthy ground of the alleyway. Then he heard a cry of pain.

Edward managed to whip his head up just in time to watch his little brother crumple to the ground. "Alphonse! Holy shit! Al!" The next few moments were a blur and when things came back into focus he was kicking the fourth man repeatedly in the ribs.

"Ed! Ed stop kicking him!" It was Al's voice that pulled him back. The alchemist reeled back in horror and stumbled over to his brother, who was trying to sit up. Just next to his right shoulder was a growing red stain.

"Al how the hell did you let yourself get shot you big idiot?" Ed could feel the tears coming.

"Jumped right in front of it." Alphonse rasped, and let out a weak chuckle. "Forgot for a second there that I can't deflect bullets anymore."

Alphonse had always been Ed's shield. He'd never needed to worry about things like that. Al had his back at all times. But now he was so fragile, and Ed had forgotten for a moment too.

"We need to get you some help. Now." Ed removed his jacket and tried to wrap it around Alphonse's arm. "A doctor. We really need a doctor."

Hauling his bother up, they stumbled out of the alley and down the street. After about an hour of wandering and asking directions, they were incredibly lost. Alphonse was losing blood and slowly his consciousness as well. Everything was so foreign here, even more so than the last world. Ed had no idea what to do. What could he do?

There were so many people, just passing them by like they saw young boys bleeding out all the time. Suddenly Al went slack in his arms. Ed went into full panic mode. "Al? Stay with me, Al!" he was breathing, but only shallowly.

There was nothing else to do. "Help! Somebody please help! He's gonna die! I need a doctor now! Please, anybody help!"

"**gou cao de" is Chinese for "dog fucking"**

"**Bratja" is a term often used to describe Russian mobs, normally used by the mobsters themselves. It's akin to calling themselves a "brotherhood"**


	2. Introductions

_Sorry about the delay, guys. I was working at a really awful place but now I have a brand new wonderful job. More importantly, I now have time to write. Hopefully I will be spitting this out faster. One thousand apologies. Please please please take the time to send a review my way. They really help me with my writing process. If I get enough feedback going for this, I might start a tumblr for it which will include illustrations for each chapter, (including Welcome to Hell). If any of you guys would be interested in that, let me know!_

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Two**

**Introductions**

"Please! Someone help me! My brother is dying, please!" Edward was at a loss. He sat on the dusty ground in the middle of the street, cradling the body of Alphonse as his life ebbed away. No one seemed to care, some people even had the nerve to simply step over them as they continued to wherever the hell they were going.

Suddenly, there was a man at his side. He looked much cleaner than the other people in this city, wearing a button-down shirt and a vest. "I'm a doctor. What happened to him?"

"Some thugs jumped us in an ally and they shot my brother. Please, help him!" He had to trust this man. He had no choice.

A tall, burly man stood behind the doctor and scowled. "C'mon Simon, we don't got time for no kids. We got a job t'do."

"Jayne," the doctor said, examining the bullet wound with careful hands. "This boy has lost a lot of blood. If I do not help him, he will probably die. Now pick him up and carry him to the ship."

"But-"

"No buts. Pick him up."

"No!" Ed clutched his brother tighter. "I'll carry him. He's my brother-"

"Jayne will carry him so that we can move faster." The doctor named Simon explained. "I understand the need to protect your younger sibling. I would die for my sister without a second thought. But right now we need to get back to my medical hold as quickly as possible. That means Jayne carries your brother, all right?"

Edward found himself nodding numbly and allowing the scowling man to lift Al's body from his arms. The need to snatch Alphonse back raced through him. He couldn't trust anybody, especially not with his brother's life. But he was out of options.

The walk was a haze as the alchemist stumbled after the man who carried Al. A gentle hand from the doctor occasionally steered his way. Simon was telling him something, but he couldn't hear it over the ringing in his ears. The roads opened up into a long strip of gravel. Large metal contraptions—Ed could not think of another word to describe them—lined the strip. They certainly didn't look like any ships Ed had ever seen. There wasn't even any water nearby. He decided to just go with it for Al's sake as they came up to a particular "ship" and a hatch was opened. They strode through what appeared to be a cargo hold, and across a hallway and into a small medical lab. Al was deposited on the examination table before Ed and the other man were ushered out of the room. "I need room to work," had been the doctors reply to Ed's protests.

As soon as the door closed behind them, two large hands shoved Edward up against a wall and held him there. "So here's the deal, kid. The good doctor might be a nice soul and all, but I certainly ain't. And I ain't takin no chances on a planet like this. So how do you reckon yer gonna pay for the doctors good services here?"

"I have money." Ed lied. He knew the type of man he was dealing with well. Their loyalties followed whichever way the money flowed. If worse came to worse he could always wait until Al was okay and then make some gold. It would last long enough for them to get away before turning back into junk. "As soon as I know my brother is okay I can get it for you."

"Jayne would please release that poor boy?" The newcomer was an older, dark-skinned man. Behind him stood a young woman in a floral shirt and green overalls. Despite her brown hair and rounded face, she reminded Ed strongly of Winry. "For goodness sakes, that is no way to treat a guest."

Jayne released Edward from the wall. "Ain't no guest, Shepard. He's paying for Simon's doctorin' skills." Then he turned to Ed with a glare. "Whether or not yer brother in there makes it."

Ed's snarl of protest was cut off by the older gentleman. "What happened?"

Glancing at the window that showed the doctor working over his brother, Ed sighed. "My brother and I are kind of new here. We got lost and wound up in an alleyway. Some men tried to rob us and we fought back. Then one of the bastards shot my brother. I was trying to get help when your doctor ran into us. And now we're here."

"Oh my!" The young woman exclaimed, rushing forward to hug him. Ed grimaced, but allowed the contact. "Don't you worry. First day I met Simon I got shot in the gut and he fixed me right up! Best doctor in the outer rim." She reassured. "If anybody can do it, it's doctor Tam."

She smelled like grease and metal. "Hi! I'm Kaylee, Serenity's mechanic. This is Shepard Book. He's kind of our ship's preacher 'cept none of us really do the whole church thing but him. The big grump there is Jayne, and you met Simon already."

"I'm Ed. Edward Elric. My brother is Alphonse." He hoped that was enough of an introduction for the motley assortment of people in front of him. "Where exactly are we?"

Somehow he ended up sitting on a couch in between Kaylee and the Shepard as he received an explanation. "This here is Serenity: she's a Firefly class cargo ship. Best one flying!" the mechanic exclaimed with pride.

"Flying?" She couldn't be serious.

"Yeah! What kind of ship can't fly?" she giggled. "A broken one that's what."

"I think he meant where are we, geographically speaking." The Shepard put in. Ed gave him a sideways glance. He'd almost rather trust a homunculus than a man of religion.

"Ooh. In that case, we're parked in the Western Shipyard. Sturges' territory."

It seemed like the more he learned the less anything made sense. "Sturges?"

"Gosh you are new here! Didn't nobody tell you bout the triad?"

"Um. No?"

"So you just jumped off the ship to here with no clue?"

"And what about your parents?" Book interjected. "Why would they bring you to such a dangerous place?"

Edward was saved from answering that question when something barreled into him, knocking all of the breath from his lungs. He panicked for a moment until he realized the stuff going up his nose and into his mouth was hair. "River!" a new voice—feminine—called out. "Don't tackle people!" Trying to extricate himself from the tangle of limbs gripping tightly to him proved impossible until aided by the people on either side of him. A face appeared. Large dark eyes framed by stringy brown hair stared at him. Her gaze was very intense, but not in a menacing way. They stared at each other for a few more moments before the girl was pulled fully off of him.

"The hell is wrong with that girl now?" Jayne snorted, leaning against the wall in a corner of the room. "Ain't you supposed t'be watchin' her Inara?" The woman he was glaring daggers at gave Jayne a frosty glare of her own. She was beautiful, more so than anyone Ed had ever met, with long, dark, wavy hair. Her silken red dress and posture spoke of a sophistication the alchemist had only ever heard of.

"I was keeping her company while you and Simon were out," the woman replied. Her voice lacked the harshness or accent present in the rest of the crew's. "But she told me her friends were here, and I assumed she meant the rest of the crew had returned. Clearly that is not the case." Her gaze turned serenely to Edward. "Hello. I am Inara. I hope River did not startle you. Her enthusiasm for strangers is rare."

"Um hi," he managed. "Edward Elric."

"Where is your brother?" The strange girl asked.

"How the hell do you-"

"She's bein' looney again." Jayne snarled.

"Sometimes River just knows things," Kaylee tried to explain. "We've just learned to kind of roll with it. She don't mean no harm or nothin, promise."

The girl unnerved Ed, but he couldn't explain why. And how did she know about Al? She knew too much behind that blank stare. It was the look of a survivor, of what Ed could only guess. "My brother is with your brother." Ed decided to tell her, knowing somehow she and the doctor were siblings. "He's hurt and Simon is fixing him up for me."

"Was it the bad man?" She whispered. "The one who came through before you?"

Ed didn't even know how to begin answering that one. Was she referring to someone she knew, or the homunculus? It was preposterous that she would even know about homunculi, and yet she had known that he had a brother and had recently arrived.

"Well the guy who shot your brother certainly wasn't nice." Kaylee saved him from answering. "Poor Ed here and his brother were attacked by some of the Reds." She explained to Inara.

"That's terrible." The woman sighed. "I wish there was something to be done about those brutes."

"Speaking of which, you ain't lying about just bein mugged were ya? Last thing we need is to be on that psycho-bitch Kalashnikov's radar. You sure she don't got no beef with you, shorty?"

Edward turned his fiery gaze on the man called Jayne. "First, I'm gonna let the height comment slide just this once because you saved my brother's life. Secondly, I have no idea who this Kalashnikov lady is. Just got here, remember?"

He had so many questions, but the last thing he wanted to do right now was seem more suspicious. As soon as Al was better they would be out of these people's lives and hunting down the homunculus. The sooner they got the job done the sooner they would be out of this bizarre place.

Time ticked away as Kaylee babbled to him about the "ship". The moment she started spouting technical jargon he sat there pretending to listen, wrapped up in his worries for Alphonse. At some point the preacher, or whatever they had called him, put a mug of tea in his hands. They could tell he wasn't really listening, but no one had the heart to end his charade. Jayne disappeared after a while, but the others sat with Ed as he waited on news of his brother.

Ed had no idea how much time had passed while he waited. Eventually Kaylee had given up and simply sat with him. Finally Simon entered the room, looking tired. "He's stable. The bullet didn't hit any vital areas. I managed to repair the tissue, but he has lost a lot of blood. With some rest I think he will be just fine."

Nearly sobbing in relief, Ed jumped up, insisting on seeing his sibling. "Can I-"

"He needs to sleep." Simon sighed, understanding Ed's impatience. "He should sleep for a few more hours before you go in to see him."

Pushing down the dread of waiting that long, Ed gave an exhausted nod. "At least he's okay."

Right on cue, Jayne reappeared. "Well now sounds like the perfect time to discuss your payment for our fee-lan-thro-pic actions."

"Jayne, do you even know what philanthropic means?" Simon scoffed.

"Course I do. Means we done somethin nice an' now he gots to pay us fer it. So where's our money, kid?"

"Now hold on just a minute-" began Shepard Book.

"I never said he needed to pay me for helping-"

"You want to take money from a child?" Inara gasped.

"I ain't no discriminatory fella. I take money from everybody. And he owes us fer getting into gang business. What if Kalashikov finds out we're here cause of these two? If I'm gonna die I wanna go out with as much money as I can manage."

"Oh please. This has nothing to do with the Reds. You just want to swindle this poor boy for doing something that any decent person would do without prompting." Inara stood.

"And what would a whore know about decency, huh Inara?" Jayne barked back.

"How dare you-"

Her cry was cut off by a door slamming open and a voice yelling, "What the hell is going on here? Now quit yelling at each other and tell me who this kid is and why he's on my ship." The man Ed saw standing in the doorway was undoubtedly the captain. There was the air of a leader about him, like the one that surrounded Colonel Mustang.

The room fell silent for a moment before River let out a piercing shriek and then collapsed onto the floor.


	3. Seating Arrangements

_Oh my gosh you guys have been so supportive of this! Good news, I have had enough interest in a tumblr, so I will be getting that prepped. I want to apologize for the delay__。__I have been having a really hard time with my writing lately__。__Hopefully that is all over and I can get back to updating more regularly. But enough of that, I know you vultures are here for the next chapter. (And yes, Wash is in this one, Ryan) Remember: reviews are what helps me update in a timely fashion! 3_

_PS the Triad and all of the characters associated with it are mine, as is Topos 6. Everything else is obviously not fine I mean this is for a reason._

**Welcome to Hell: Chapter Three**

**Seating Arrangements**

Vladimira Kalashnikov was not a woman of patience. This was not to suggest she was incapable of patience, for that was never the case. She could wait an eon for the perfect moment to strike at an enemy, and she never forgot a grudge or slight. Her lack of patience was more centered on an intolerance for incompetency. The moment she gave an order, she expected it to be carried out in an efficient and timely manner. A woman of her power and influence had no time for anyone who could not achieve this. Sure, it meant she lost many subordinates from failure to meet her high standards, but she had a criminal empire to run. And on a scum-infested planet like Topos 6, there were always more lackeys to hire.

Her nails clicked against the iron structure that served as her throne, or at least her seat of power. Having a headquarters set up like the audience chamber of some long-forgotten monarch helped her assert her authority. She told her lieutenants that the throne had a strategic advantage, and it did, but the primary purpose was that Vladimira loved to watch people kneel before her and shake with fear under the might of her powerful gaze. It really was the little things that made her job so pleasurable.

They were late, and not just a few minutes late. Their orders were to return with the blueprints for the new weapon design. Seventy-two minutes had passed since the designated return time. Kalashnikov had been kept waiting for seventy-two entire minutes.

It was then that the disappointments decided to show themselves. The heavy metal doors at the end of the chamber groaned open and the first imbecile poked his head in through the opening. Now came the part where she was quite patient. Realizing that his head was still attached to his body, Failure Number One shuffled through the door, supporting the weight of Failure Number two. The long stone hall echoed with every grunt and footstep as both wretched henchmen shuffled their way to the foot of The Russian's throne. Panting, Failures One and Two waited in dreadful anticipation for their mistress to say something. Anything.

A cold and unforgiving grin graced her stony features. She watched as a bead of terrified sweat slid down Failure Number One's face. They had kept her waiting.

The silence stretched on, punctuated by the occasional tap of nails against iron. Kalashnikov took the time to survey the groveling men before her. They were beaten to hell. The second one looked like the only thing keeping him conscious was the fear of passing out in her presence. At least he was smart enough for that. A quick glance proved that they did not return with the blueprints. Nor were the other two men she had sent. No doubt they were in the infirmary. It was no matter, she would kill them later. The pressure of the deafening silence became too much and the first idiot howled in panic before babbling out his excuses.

"Forgive us mistress! We was heading to the meetin' spot when we got jumped! They came out of nowhere and hit us hard! I woulda done been killed if'n Ralph here hadn't shot one a' them bastards! Then the short one went crazy and wailed on him something fierce. Then I scareded them off and we headed to the meetin' place but the seller must have gone and chickened since we was late! Please don't kill us or nothin'!"

"How many?" Kalashnikov cut in. "How many were there and how many did you manage to kill? Were they Sturges? Or perhaps some of Fa's men?"

"L-like I said, Ralph here done shot one-"

"Of how many? I will not ask again."

"W-w-well there was um," Vladmira's hand slid from its place on the armrest to the large club resting against the throne. Fingertips slid down the handle to feel one of the large iron spikes protruding from the huge weapon.

"Ten! There was ten men! Fa's I think! They was wild but we offed em!" The man squealed, but in vain. He never saw her draw the pistol with her other hand, and he probably didn't hear the bullet explode from the barrel. He certainly felt the piece of lead impact his skull right between the eyes, at least for the last second he was capable of feeling anything. Not that it mattered what he saw or heard or felt. He no longer mattered. He never mattered to begin with. And now he was dead.

"Wrong answer." Snarled the Iron Bear of the Outer Rim. She swiveled the barrel of the pistol to face the remaining lackey, and reclined back in her throne. "Now let us try again. You will tell me every detail of what happened. And this time, we are to be telling only truths. Da?"

Wash always missed out on all of the fun. He supposed it was one of the burdens that came with being one of the best pilots ever, which he was. Sitting around and waiting for the moment to execute a perfect getaway was one of his most important jobs. Still, it meant he missed out on a lot of the action. For example: two kids—one of them sporting a bullet wound—coming on board, being there for hours, and causing River to fly into a psychotic panic attack complete with spasms and flailing and screams of the blood-curdling variety. No one had thought to pop up to the cockpit for a moment and give him an update. Nope. He'd learned about all of the crazy goings-on when he came down for dinner to find a strange blond boy in a red jacket sitting in _his _chair.

Now he was sitting next to Jayne instead of next to his beautiful wife. The aforementioned new seating buddy was managing to get about half of his food into his mouth, the other half finding its way onto Wash. Kaylee shot him a sympathetic look before returning her attention to the brat who had stolen his coveted seat. There was something off about the kid, and Wash did not like it one bit. This was some sort of trap, or scam, or something. What kind of person just plops himself down next to another man's wife? An evil one, that's who.

"So where are you from, originally?" Zoe asked the boy.

"It's a long way from here," he deflected. "You've probably never-"

"Why don't you try us, kid?" Wash cut in. "You''d be surprised by all the places we've been."

"Amestris." Ed sighed.

"Never heard a' no place called that." Jayne drawled. "Sounds made-up to me." In the process he spewed crumbs all over Wash. This only put a slight damper on Wash's current opinion of Jayne. Sure he was a disgusting, greedy, selfish, sexist, boorish excuse for a human being; but he didn't trust that Edward character either so he couldn't be that awful.

"Jayne I told you to quit bein' hostile." Mal barked. "And don't even think about bringing up that payment business again. If you can't say nothin nice keep your trap shut."

Another shower of crumbs rained down as Jayne grumbled into his biscuit. Wash winced as they smacked into his face. This was getting ridiculous.

"Look, we will get out of your hair the instant Dr. Tam says my brother can leave." Edward insisted. "But there has to be some way I can pay you for helping us, an equal exchange-"

This launched Mal and the boy back into the same argument that had been going on a good long while before Wash had shown up. Why didn't Mal just let the kid give him some Gorram money and be done with it? But no. Instead there had to be shouting, and fists slamming on the table. Those two really set each other off. He suspected it was because they were both too stubborn for their own good.

"Brother?" Another boy peeked out from the doorway and peered into the kitchen. It was obvious the two were siblings. He gripped the doorframe for balance and shuffled forward. "Where are we?"

In an instant the entire demeanor of Edward changed. The stubborn anger vanished and was replaced by compassion and worry. "Al! You're awake!" He rushed to the side of his brother and practically carried him to a chair. "Why the hell didn't you stay put you idiot? You're hurt!"

"Sorry," Al squeaked. His face was greyed by blood loss. "I woke up and you weren't there and I didn't know where I was."

"Shit! I shouldn't have left you by yourself-"

"You should have been knocked out for several more hours." Simon cut in, moving Ed aside so he could check on his patient. "I gave you some heavy anesthetics."

"Simon is a doctor. He saved you." Ed threw in. "We're on a ship. The captain is letting us stay here until you're better."

"That would be me." Mal called from his seat. "Captain Malcolm Reynolds."

Introductions were passed around the table and Wash was shocked to find the younger Elric a deal more agreeable than his sibling. He was polite and interested in the people who had saved his life. The concern and brotherly affection Edward displayed contradicted his earlier caustic behavior, and left the pilot only more confused about whether or not to trust him.

Simon insisted on another checkup in the infirmary, and Ed helped his brother out of the kitchen, followed closely by the doctor. Wash threw an unhappy look in his wife's direction. She simply shrugged and glance at Mal, and then back to him with a sigh. Of course Zoe agreed with the captain. Like always. He would just have to keep a close eye on that shady older brother himself. He was hiding something, and Wash was going to sniff it out no matter what.


	4. Faithless

_I'm trying to be better about this whole "updating in a semi-regular manner" thing. I have something of a daily schedule to my life for the first time in almost a year, so that should help. To the flood of new readers: welcome! I hope you like it, and leave me a nice little review. Just send one yelling at me for the lack of updates. They help, I swear._

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Four**

**Faithless**

Moments after Shepard Book walked into the infirmary, Ed began to scowl. Alphonse rolled his eyes at his brother's behavior. He didn't blame Ed for being wary of clergymen, he felt that way himself, but the elder Elric had a disdain for people who trusted in a higher power that bordered on contempt.

"I was just coming to check on how you were feeling, Alphonse," the Shepard ignored the steely glare sent his way, coming to sit down in a chair next to the bed.

"Much better," Al replied, "You have an excellent doctor. And some very good pain-killers."

Book chuckled and inclined his head to Edward, who was seated on a counter top where he had cleared a space among the medical equipment. "And you, Edward? How are you feeling?"

"I wasn't injured, so I'm doing fine." His tone was stiff and curt.

"I was referring to the experience you just went through. Must have been hard on both of you. We can often feel helpless or guilty when something happens to someone we love."

Ed's snort of derision set off warning bells in Al's head. His temper was flaring up. What a surprise. "Well why don't you recite a couple of comforting verses from the Bible so that God can help me get through this difficult time of spiritual and emotional turmoil? Maybe after that we can all hold hands and sing about hypocrisy and bigotry, but pretend it's about loving everyone?" Al sat up, ready to admonish his brother, but the Shepard spoke first.

He was so calm, sitting there in his chair. "That was not what I meant, and I think you know it. You made your views on my faith clear the moment you met me; not in so many words, but I've been doing this long enough to know what those looks mean. I was not offering my services as a Shepard, I do not believe in forcing my beliefs upon unwilling ears. I just thought that both or either of you boys might want someone to talk to, and I happen to be a good listener."

"Sorry, but I don't really feel in a sharing mood." Ed snarled.

"Brother! He's just trying to be helpful!"

"Well he can help by minding his own goddamn business!" An automail fist slammed into the countertop before Ed jumped down and wrenched open the door. "I don't want the help of someone foolish enough to believe in something as ridiculous as a benevolent god." With that he stomped out.

Alphonse sighed. That had escalated quickly, even for Ed. The Shepard hadn't done anything to set him off in such a manner. "I'm so sorry about that. He's got a short temper and quite a few strong opinions, but I don't know where that outburst came from."

Book gave Al a comforting pat on the leg. "It's not the first time I've gotten a reaction like that." The brown creases in his aging face shifted into a rueful smile. "My presence can make some people feel like they have to defend their decision to not believe."

"That still doesn't excuse him from acting like a jerk." He shifted his position against the headboard of the sickbed, taking care to support his right shoulder in the move. The tight, white bandages wrapped neatly around his shoulder up to the neck, and across the chest just under his arm. A tense moment had passed between the brothers when they first realized how reminiscent it was to the night the two of them tried to bring their mother back to life. In that moment he'd relived the horror of sitting inside a metal husk, devoid of all physical sensation, looking down at the bandaged form of his broken brother. His eyes had seemed so lifeless in that moment, the only sign of life the shallow breaths puffing out of his pain-wracked body.

But now he was thinking about it again. Alphonse shook his head to clear away the sobering remembrance. The Shepard waited for him to come back from his sudden withdrawal. "Anyway, thank you for checking on us. It's very kind of you."

"You are most welcome. Two boys on their own, and on such a dangerous planet- who would not show a little human concern?"

"It's been just the two of us for so long, I'm afraid you'll find us both a little reluctant to receive assistance." Ed had taken months, even years, to warm up and trust their friends back home. Relying on strangers? Al wasn't even that trusting.

"You have no family?"

"Just my brother. Our father… disappeared before I could even walk, and our mother died when I was nine. We left our home and haven't looked back since."

The concern and sympathy on Book's face seemed genuine. "You two are very brave. Your brother's agitation makes more sense. It's hard when you have to grow up fast." The way he said that- Al knew the spoke from experience.

"It's a bit more complicated than that." A whole heaping lot more complicated was more like it. "We've had some bad experiences with religious fanatics. Really we've had a lot of bad experiences with people in general. After enough of it, we started to think we were the only people we could trust. I know that there are good people out there, and try to see the best in everyone, but Ed- for him the only things he can trust are me and cold, hard science."

"Ah." Book nodded in understanding. "He wants proof before he believes. There are many people like that these days."

"Even if he had proof, it wouldn't do any good. If Ed knew for sure that God was real he'd probably try to fight Him." The idea was almost comical, but it was true. "That's just how he is."

"And do you agree with him?"

Alphonse thought about it for a moment. "Well I'm not as angry as he is. It's like he took it upon himself to be angry for the both of us. And while I don't see why any person would just believe in something so strongly without any proof, without questioning, I respect their decision. But yes, I share his views on the futility of religion."

"Ah." That was all he said. Al waited for him to say something else, not really knowing how to continue from there. The silence stretched on for a few minutes before the Shepard spoke. "I am sorry for making your brother feel uncomfortable. You look like you could use some rest, so I'll leave you to it." Another tight smiled graced his countenance before making his exit.

After only a minute in solitude, Ed slunk back in. The glance he gave Al showed that his anger had faded, replaced with apologetic embarrassment.

"mmmsrry."

"You'll have to speak up, brother. I didn't hear that."

"I said I'm sorry! I let him get under my skin and I was rude. There! Happy?" The alchemist pouted and rubbed at the port in shoulder where flesh met metal, a vulnerable gesture.

"I'd be happy if you'd managed to sit there and be pleasant. Okay not pleasant, that's impossible, but at least cut back on the sarcasm." They both laughed at that.

"You know it isn't me you should be apologizing to."

"Well you can be damn sure I'm not apologizing to that nosy old man!"

Al groaned. "You are impossible!"

Their bickering soon turned into yawns and gentle teasing. Al didn't even worry about dreaming when he slipped into the arms of sleep.


	5. Presents

_Look at me being all productive and shit! I know the last chapter was character heavy and lacking in plot. I promise plot in this chapter. Don't forget: reviews keep my will to write alive. Without it I wither away into a motivation-less husk. Keep the writer's block at bay and send me some friendly words. Or not so friendly. But friendly is better. Thanks so much! On to the next chapter!_

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Five**

**Presents**

Mistress Fa had two favorite words: family and flexibility. They were also the two main principles she ruled her criminal underworld by. Every member of the Fa family—even the lowest thug—was just that: a part of her family.

This did not refer to blood relation. Only her sisters and their progeny were actually her kin. She'd never married herself, nor had she inclination to. Husbands were tedious creatures and she had no time for their nonsense. Despite the lack of shared genes, Mistress Fa personally knew every member of her organization. To work for her was to be a part of her family. Criminals were fickle by nature, and loyalty was key. She did everything in her vast power to make everyone feel that camaraderie. When someone did betray her they were betraying the family. The entire family. And the family took that kind of thing personally.

Flexibility was key as well. Holding an empire together for almost forty three years required extreme adaptability. The criminal market would never remain the same for long. Mistress Fa was ready to make any changes it took, make any alliances necessary, to keep her family thriving. She was also ready to cross or backstab whoever it took.

But things like drug trafficking and arms shipments were not her chief concerns at the moment. Instead she was focused on drinking from her cup of tea with her pinkie out. Her grand-niece, Tian Tian, watched her technique with sober approval. The girl was such a tiny thing, only six, and the absolute treasure of Mistress Fa's heart.

"Mmm. Delicious!" Fa informed her tiny host. The tea had been prepared beforehand, but Tian Tian liked to play things out to the fullest, which meant pretending the little girl had set up everything all by herself.

"Thank you ever so!" Tian Tian smiled up at her great grandmother. She'd gotten it from one of her mother's books, and decided that was what a proper young lady said.

One of her nephews interrupted the party.

"Ju-long! Would you like a spot of tea! It is delicious!" Tian Tian greeted her cousin and shoved a stuffed bear out of the chair next to her to make room.

"Um." He looked at Fa for an answer.

"Are you going to deny the lady's invitation to tea? Quit staring at me like a landed fish and sit." She gave him a critical glance.

"Yes, Aunt." He sat and took the offered teacup from his impatient cousin, fumbling to hold his pinky out when Tian Tian pouted. "Tasty! My compliments, miss!"

"Thank you ever so!" The girl beamed.

"Now, nephew, what news do you bring your Aunt?"

Ju-long glanced at his cousin, but proceeded. Fa let Tian Tian hear everything. "We have us some very interesting guests docked in the shipyard bordering us and the Sturges. A fella by the name of Malcolm Reynolds and crew. Best part is: Red's don't know yet."

Mal Reynolds parked in her shipyard, right under Kalashnikov's nose. She hoped that clunker of a ship had a big red bow already on it because the Fa family was about to present the Iron Bear of the Outer Rim with the Serenity and her captain like it was Christmas. Vladimira would owe her a favor of monumental proportions. It was nothing personal, she even liked Mal. But as of that moment, that icy Russian bitch owing her big time was too sweet a deal to pass up.

"Tell the Blue and Yellow squads to assemble, and put the ship on surveillance. I want a full report on the situation before we move in. Kalashnikov is going to owe me for the next ten years."

"Cookie!" Tian Tian ordered rather than offered the pastry to Ju-long. He grabbed it and ruffled her shiny black hair before standing, bowing to his aunt, and leaving.

"Tian Tian dear," Mistress Fa set down her own cup of tea before standing. "That's enough tea. I'm taking you into town and getting you any dress you like." The child shrieked with glee and bounced over to Fa, giving her a hug. "Auntie Fa feels like celebrating."

"I believe these are the weapons designs your men were in charge of retrieving."

The papers were dropped into Vladimira's lap. She turned to find the stranger grinning at her. He was tall, broad shouldered, and tan. His hair was cut in a military style and he wore an eye patch. This man was a fighter, a trained killer. One glance was all she needed to know.

"I shall not ask you how you managed to spirit yourself all the way into my throne room." She made a note to beat the shit out of whoever was on guard. "Mr?"

"Bradley." The man gave her a tight-mouthed grin that looked far too genuine to be anything but a farce. "Your boys took too long and scared off the seller. So I thought I'd pick them up for you. As a gesture of good faith."

"I appreciate a man who brings gifts and points out holes in my security." She unfolded one of the blueprints and gave it a once-over to make sure it was real. "But I also do not trust man to want nothing in return."

The man, Bradley, circled around the iron throne to face her fully. She kept a careful eye on his movements, just as he did to her. He chuckled and rubbed his mustache. "You are just as I was informed you were. The blueprints are a present. Merely to show you some of my capabilities, and an excuse to have your attention. What I really want is a mutually beneficial alliance."

"You need my help for something, da?" She pushed a strand of hair from her face and leaned forward, grinning. "And offer a service in return? You are stealthy, well-informed, and probably excellent with that saber on your hip. But what makes you think I will help you, and not have my sniper on the balcony kill you this instant?" Her grin widened as they both glanced at the barrel peeking over the railing.

"Because," Bradley smiled again. An actual smile, dark and twisted. "In return for helping me eliminate the two who attacked your men earlier, I will perform any task you wish of me. Anything."

"I think you overestimate your worth, Mr. Bradley." Vladimira scoffed. He was far too cocky, it seemed. Such a shame. He was just starting to be interesting. "No man is irreplaceable, no matter how clever or good with a weapon."

"How about a test?" He seemed unfazed. Like he had expected all of this. "Give your man the signal. If he lands a single bullet on me, the deal is off. If not, you help me and then I help you. Deal?"

She didn't bother agreeing, flicking her hand up instead. The blood splatter from his head exploding would mean her coat would require cleaning again. The bullet whizzed out of the sniper rifle.

And hit the floor.

Her naked eye never saw him move. It was like magic. Each bullet landed just inches off the mark. Yet each should have hit squarely in between his eye and the patch. When the clip was empty she gave the signal to cease.

"I don't know what that was, but I like it. I am sure it will be a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Bradley." She held a hand out, which he took.

"I'm sure it will be."

"But I must ask." Kalashnikov stood and led him down the hall. "Why go through so much trouble to kill two boys?"

His pleasant mask dissolved. "I promise those two are far more trouble than any two boys should be. Killing them will not be so easy. Let's just say, for the time being, that they and I have a surprising amount of history, and you will find that my… wrath…. Can be quite nasty when invoked."

Vladimira laughed. Whatever happened, this would be amusing.


	6. Split

_Once again I am astounded that all of you are really interested in my silly little crossover. The reviews and messages and likes are all so so appreciated. I'm finally at a place in my life where I can write regularly, so hopefully updates won't be so scarce. As always, send me reviews so my will to write stays strong. Hope you enjoy now that we get past the exposition and into some actual plot._

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Six**

**Split**

"Um, Captain?" Ed didn't want to do this. The only reason he was in the cockpit in the first place was because he'd once again fallen prey to Al's puppydog face, which was much more effective now that he had actual facial features to make it with.

Captain Mal slipped something into a bag and turned to face Ed. The alchemist had interrupted something. The pilot and second-in-command were also there. They'd been in deep discussion of something a moment ago. "What is it?"

"I kind of have a favor to ask of you. Well—not exactly a favor—more like I have something to ask you that might help my brother and I information-wise." He did not want to do this. Asking for anything at all was the worst.

"Shoot, kid."

Scratch that. Being called 'kid' was the worst. "Well, there is kind of a reason why my brother are here. In such a dangerous place." Time to use the art of stretching the truth to his advantage.

"I knew there had to be a reason! You were hiding somethin'!" The pilot slapped his thigh and grinned up at his wife. "Why else would they get into a fight with the Reds?"

Zoe gave him a stern glare. "Let him finish."

Ed took a deep breath. These people knew what they were doing, how this world worked. This would be better than starting at zero, but it wouldn't stop grating at Edward's pride. "We are looking for someone. Someone incredibly dangerous. It's a long story as to why and to be honest I wouldn't tell you the real details if you asked. The important thing is that we find this… person. At all costs. Before people start dying."

"Wait, what?"

"Wash can you shut it for a minute?" Mal turned to him and held Ed's gaze. "Are you two in over your heads?"

"I-" The two of them had been in over their heads since the day of their mother's funeral. "We might be. But it doesn't change what we have to do, which is find this person. I doubt you'll believe me but my brother and I are the only ones who can take them down."

Zoe took a few steps so that she could place a hand on Ed's shoulder. Her eyes were full of that pity people always showed when they thought he was burdening too much. When they didn't understand that he really was the one who had to do what he did. "You don't have to put that kind of pressure on yourself."

"Yes I do. It's- look. I'm not asking for you to fix my problems for me. Or worry about us." If his right arm were real flesh, his palm would sport cuts from nails digging in too hard. "All I need is to know who I should go to for information on how the underworld is run here, and any news they can give me. A name, a place, I'll take whatever I can get. Someone has to know all of the happenings."

Mal laughed. "And you think I might just happen to know someone like that? I'll have you know I'm an honest businessman."

"Then what the hell are you doing in a place like this? I know you guys are smugglers. Kaylee isn't very good at pretending you aren't. I know that you did something to piss off a mob boss, and I really doubt it was telling her off for running an underground crime syndicate. I know you have something in that bag there that you're hiding from me, and frankly I couldn't give two shits about what it is, or what you guys have done. All I care about is finding the person I'm after. Now do you know who I should go to or not?"

"Got to say, you're a lot sharper than I was giving you credit for." Mal gave him an impressed nod. "We do know who you should talk to. In fact, we are gonna head out later to see her ourselves. Care to tag along?"

"Mal!" Wash griped. "You can't take the kid to see Jo! We've got no clue about him or this guy he's after. Not to mention the Reds want him powerful bad."

"You forget that the Reds are after me powerful bad as well. One more wanted fella won't make no difference. You can come along and see if Jo can help you find your man. Grab you stuff and we will head out. Zoe, grab the others. I'm leavin you in charge, Wash. Don't make me regret it."

"Tai kong suo you di xing qui dou sai jin wo de pi gu!" Ed didn't understand a word that came out of the pilot's mouth, but he certainly knew cussing when he heard it. At least Wash seemed resigned after the expletives.

Step one was finding the homunculus. Step two was figuring out how the hell they were going to kill it. Hopefully they would be alive long enough for a step three to matter. Ed jogged over to the infirmary to give Al the good news. On the way he ran into the strange girl who knew too much.

"Oh. Hey. River, right?"

"Yes." She blinked at him. "Did the bad man take your brother's body? Is that why you're after him? He wants to hurt a lot of people, I can feel it."

"Uuuuhhh." How the hell did she-? "No. It's my fault he lost it. But he's whole again so…"

Whatever she knew or didn't, Ed felt compelled to reply honestly. His gut told him she would know if he lied. Her fingers pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes as River contemplated Ed. A slight nod indicated she knew he was telling the truth.

"Almost whole." River whispered. "There are bits of him floating around. I can see them. They swirl around his head, trying to reconnect. Like me. But not. They didn't poke around in his brain. So he might have an easier time putting everything back together."

"What happened to you? Did you see the Gate? Did it take something from you?" Was it possible? Had she accessed the Gate on accident? It seemed unlikely, but the impossible was becoming more and more feasible every day.

"I didn't go to _him_ like you did." She grabbed his right hand and turned the appendage over, feeling at the metal joints in his fingers through the gloves that covered him. "But I saw him. When they opened up my head and poked around. He told me things. I couldn't begin to absorb it all. But some of it stuck. I think that's why I see and feel so many things that no one else notice, I think."

"You saw part of the Truth." The realization was flooring. He leaned against the wall in the hallway and processed. "Probably not everything. I mean I could barely hold onto any of it myself but… sorry that's just a lot to process. Someone forced the Gate to come to you?" By poking around in her cranium? What the hell kind of place had he come to?

"I don't think that's what they were trying to do. Or they didn't know that it was what they were trying to do." She shuddered and whimpered. "I'm sorry. I can't talk about- it's too much. I need to go. I'll see you in a few days." And then she ran off.

"A few days?"

Al was in the small lounge area outside of the surgery talking with Kaylee. "Hey there!" She beamed up at him.

"Hi."

"Kaylee was telling me about the engine in the ship, and how it flies. It's pretty cool, Ed, maybe you want to hear."

"Sorry but I'm heading out with the captain. He's going to take me to see someone who might have the info we need to find you-know-who."

Kaylee jumped up. "You mean Jo? Is the captain ready to go?"

"Are you coming too?"

"Yup! I haven't seen her in ages!" This cheerful woman was friends with a mob boss. Somehow it wasn't as surprising as it should have been. Kaylee seemed like the kind of person who made friends with everyone she came across, whether they wanted it or not.

"You'd better go find the captain then. I'll be right there."

She gave Al a careful hug and departed. Alphonse began to stand. "I'll get my things."

"Oh no you don't. You are staying here and letting your bullet wound heal."

"But-"

"Nope. Besides, I have no idea what I'm walking into, it could be a trap. If it is, I need you on the outside to come save my sorry ass."

"Oh."

Ed sighed at the dejected boy. "I'll be gone a few hours. Take a nap and I'll be back. Maybe talk to River. But be careful. I think she's seen the Gate."

"What?"

"Yeah I know. Crazy. But she knew about it and she's seen part of the Truth. I didn't understand it but I think she was captured by some psychos and they poked around in her brain. Or something. But it's true. And she doesn't understand it. You're good with stuff like that. With people."

Al's lips pursed with worry. "Do you think the others know what happened? Or at least parts of it? They know something happened to her at the very least."

"I don't know just be careful, okay, around everyone. We still don't-"

"I know, Ed. I know."

The streets they used were filthier than the rest of the district. Boots trod through grotesque-smelling puddles and slid in slimy bits of mud in the atrociously cobbled back alleys. Dark figures lurked in the shadows, obscured by hats and even masks. Their unseen gazes lingered on the small group.

A .22 caliber pistol was burning a hole in his pocket. He hadn't even loaded it yet. Mal had insisted he take the stupid thing despite all of Ed's protests. Edward was a soldier. He knew how to use one, he wasn't that obtuse, but he'd never had the need to point a gun at anyone. Most of the other state alchemists carried a firearm. But for Ed it just didn't seem right.

"Can someone please explain to me why I got dragged along this time?" Simon whispered. He was more appalled by the filth than Ed was. "Do you think you'll need a doctor?"

Kaylee giggled. "Oh no, Simon, you're eye candy."

"Pardon, I'm what?"

"Jo likes to have pretty young men like you around," Zoe explained. "She won't do anything to you besides flirt a little. It will put her in a good mood for negotiatin with us."

"Mal this is not-" the doctor began.

"Do you want to get rid of the Lassiter or not?" the captain snapped. "All you got to do is be nice to the lady and we will have enough money to keep flyin. The sooner this is over the sooner we can get off this gorram rock."

Doctor Tam grimaced when his foot squelched in a particularly sludgy puddle, visibly shivered, and then muttered his assent. "Fine, but next time you want some 'eye candy' you can forget it."

"Aw Simon, it's only cause you're so pretty!" Kaylee teased. This did not help matters. The man pouted for the rest of the walk.

Apparently they were close to their destination, because a minute later they were flanked by three large men in brown coats. They openly carried their guns, and the shady figures lining the streets practically fled when they saw the men. No one said a thing, just kept walking. Ed couldn't help but feel on high alert. The men led them to a run-down warehouse and pulled open the large, sheet metal door that led inside. It was dark. Not good. Mal took a breath and stepped in, followed by the rest. Edward hesitated for a moment, staring into the blackness, before he entered. Hopefully, this Jo woman had the answers he needed and he wasn't waking in to a huge trap.


	7. Things Get Complicated

_Oh my gosh this chapter totally kicked my ass! Thanks so much guys for putting up with my sporadic updates I'm so grateful to every single one of you reading this chapter. Thanks for the wonderful input! Please keep it coming, I really want to know what you guys think._

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Seven**

**Things Get Complicated**

So far it wasn't a trap. He was led along with the others to a room with a large wooden table. There were different maps of the city posted on the walls, along with ship designs and cargo lists and lots of things that were written in the strange language he couldn't read.

The woman who could only be Jo was seated at the head of the table, boots propped up on the wood. She was probably around Mal or Zoe's age. When she looked up at them her gaze was frighteningly reminiscent of Teacher. This was not a woman to trifle with.

"Mal! Zoe! Kaylee! It has been far too long! I can't believe you've let that hag keep you from stopping by!" She stood to hug her friends one by one. She wore a long, brown leather coat with a patch on the back that said: Fuck the Alliance.

"Well if you'd off her we could pay visits more often," Mal chuckled.

"You'd be surprised how many times I've tried. Kalashnikov is one crafty witch." Jo's eyes swept past Ed and landed on Doctor Tamm. "Oh Mal, you lovely bastard. You brought me a present."

"I- I what?" Simon stammered.

"Just for you, Jo." Zoe winked, giving Simon a friendly shove towards the woman.

Her eyes were predatory. "Well it is just a pleasure to meet you Mr…?"

"Doctor. Doctor Tamm." He did look like a small, cornered animal so the analogy remained valid.

"A doctor. How delightful!" Jo dragged him over to the chair next to hers and forced him down before sitting in her own chair. Simon tried to scoot away from her a bit, but she simply grabbed the arm of the chair and pulled it back toward her with no effort. The rickety wooden legs squealed against the concrete floor in protest and Simon leaned as far away as he could from Jo without tipping his seat over.

Throw in some other shit here

"Yeah yeah yeah these pleasantries are all very nice but can we hurry it up? We aren't here for tea and crumpets."

His expression was met with odd glances, but Zoe sighed and pulled a strange firearm from the bag she'd hid from him earlier. Ed had no idea what the strange-looking weapon might be. Jo, though, clearly knew what it was because she whistled and slapped her knee.

"Mal you sneaky sonofabitch! Is that the real thing?"

"Would I really be here if it weren't?"

"Haha!" She guffawed and slapped the doctor's knee this time, leaving her hand there. He yelped and gave her an affronted look. "No wonder you came all the way out here. Ain't nobody gonna fence something this hot 'cept me!"

"So we reckoned." Zoe gave Jo a smile.

"Yay! That means you can do it!" Kaylee beamed.

"Oh I can get a beautiful bit of cash off this beauty here. The original Lassiter." Jo said it like it was still unbelievable.

"Great. You all get paid. Which is fine and dandy, but I kinda have some business with you too, lady, so if you could acknowledge my existence for just a minute that would be fantastic."

"Nope." She didn't even look at him.

There was a tense silence before Ed lost his last shred of patience. "Nope?" His fists slammed into the table as he stood.

"Don't do business with kids." The finality of her tone shocked Edward.

"I'm not asking for anything illegal! I just need to know the whereabouts of a person!"

"Ed-" Mal tried in vain before Jo cut in.

"And what are you gonna do when you find that person, huh? Play patty-cake? People don't come to 'cept'in when they are up to no good and I ain't gonna be responsible for putting children in danger. That's my final say on that."

"Oh no it isn't!" He didn't have time for this nonsense. There was a homunculus out there and he needed to know which one it was and where I was hiding before it knew he was here. The upper hand would be key in killing the thing and this stupid woman was trying to shield him from the dangers of drugs and gun violence. "If I don't find them before they find me a whole lot of people are going to die. A lot. You can't shield me, lady. That ship sailed years ago. What you can do is help me before it's too late."

"Mal, where did you find this one?"

"He ain't one of mine, Jo. But if I were you I'd help him out. Ed here is one stubborn guy. If he don't get help from you he'll just jump headfirst into it anyway."

Edward watched Jo try to come to a decision. He understood why she felt the way she did, but he needed her to make an exception. For the sake of everyone on this planet. Jo's calloused fingers rubbed at the tension in her forehead and then she sighed in defeat. "My weakness has always been handsome young men. Even if you're still a bit too young for my liking."

Shuddering, Ed tried to erase that last sentence from his mind. It wasn't very effective.

"You know I don't do nothing for free."

"I wouldn't let you. It wouldn't be-"

"Equivalent. We know. We all heard you the first seven times." Captain Reynolds griped. "But you don't got no money."

Oh. Right. His pocket watch didn't get him anything here.

"You could do something else, maybe." Kaylee: ever the optimist. "Gotta be something yer good at 'sides taking care a' your brother!"

He certainly did have something he was good at. He just didn't know how to explain that to them. "I'm uh… good at fixing things. Stuff that is broken beyond repair. Got anything like that?" Ed hoped that was vague enough.

"Pssh! What ain't broken round here? Oi Charlie! Go get Rita and tell her to bring that box of hers!" A man poked his head through the door and nodded. Jo turned back to them. "Rita likes to tinker with stuff. Even fixes some of it. You can give her a hand. Now, Ed was it? Who are you looking for?"

…

"Gorram it Wash I know yer cheatin!" Jayne threw his cards onto the table with a burst of frustration.

"You say that every time I win!"

"Cause you cheat every time you win!"

Al watched the two men bicker. Without Ed or the doctor there to make him stay in the medical room, he'd wandered out to find Wash and Jayne playing cards in the kitchen. He didn't join in, but it was fun to watch them play.

"So every time you win its cause I let you."

"Yeah. Wait. Why you-"

"I have a question." Al jumped in before the two could throttle each other.

"Oh?"

"Actually I have a lot of questions. But I don't want to bother you." The boy rubbed the material of his shirt between his fingers.

"Ask away and I shall impart a portion of my vast knowledge and experience onto you." Wash announced with a gesture and a grin. Whatever he and Jayne were drinking was taking effect.

"Well, if we are on a whole planet then why are you so scared of one lady? Surely you could just avoid her."

Jayne guffawed. "You sure don't know nothin bout nothin do ya?"

"Topos 6 is a tiny planet. They sucked all the minerals out of here a long time ago and left it a barren husk floating around in space. This city is the only habitable place left."

Well that made more sense. Until they left, the crew of the Serenity was hiding right under the nose of their enemy.

"Ain't habitable." Jayne scoffed. "Just profitable."

"It is pretty dirty here," Al agreed.

"Let's hear the next one then."

"Okay. Who is Kalashnikov and why is everyone so scared of her?"

"She's only the nastiest bitch in the galaxy!" Jayne waved his mug of alcohol around in the air for emphasis.

Wash finished for him when it was clear Jayne thought his statement was all the explanation required. "Vladimira Kalashnikov is a power-hungry tyrant. She'll crush anyone and anything in her way, including her own men. Even the Alliance is scared to go after her. The last lieutenant they sent was shipped back to his superiors in thirteen different bags."

"Hell, that's nothin! I heard that even Reavers run when they see her emblem on a ship!"

"Now that's a load of s-heeeeeeey Inara!" Wash cut himself off to greet Inara as she swept into the kitchen.

"You two are going to scare the poor boy if you keep talking like that." Her tone was teasing.

"Don't worry, I don't scare easily."

She laughed at that, a warm sound. "I bet you don't." Her dress was different from the one she'd worn earlier, this one flowing and purple. She reached into a cabinet and pulled out a loaf of bread. A delicate hand reached for a knife and began slicing.

Al had always been an excellent judge of character, and came to the conclusion that Inara was a true lady: kind and strong of spirit.

"Whatcha lookin' at there Al?" Wash grinned.

"Oh!" Al had been staring. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare." He looked at his lap in embarrassment. "I've just never seen a dress like that before. Not that I'm saying that it looks strange though. You look pretty in it!"

Oh boy. Smooth.

"Think she's purty, do ya?" Jayne ribbed.

"Well yes! But you also seem like a very kind person which is what really makes a person beautiful I think."

Her smile was stunning. "You are too sweet."

Wash cackled. "Guess that makes you dog-ugly, huh Jayne?"

"I don't gotta take that from card cheatin scum like you! Sides, Vera needs cleanin." With that Jayne got up, shoved two whole pieces of bread into his mouth, and left.

"Don't mind him," Inara offered Al a piece of bread. "None of us do."

He bit in and chewed with gusto. Besides actually being able to feel again, eating was the best part of having his body back. Wash and Inara watched him eat and Al realized that they probably thought he was malnourished by the way he inhaled his food. They weren't exactly wrong, but they would get the wrong idea.

"Very tasty." He tried to chew with a little less gusto.

"Have as much as you like." Inara's soft smile made it clear that he wasn't fooling anyone.

"I want bread too."

River stood in the doorway. Al gave her a smile. "Oh hi!" The look she gave him was strange, like she knew all of his secrets. This girl had also seen the Gate. Or at least she'd told Ed that. She seemed frail, shattered. Did people see that same fragility in his eyes when they looked at him?

"Hi." River managed a half-smile.

"River, I thought you were keeping Shepard Book company." Inara looked at the girl with motherly concern.

She averted her eyes and mumbled, "He fell asleep so I came here."

"Well all right. Why don't you come sit with us then?"

Wash made a face but was quick to hide it. It was clear he was wary of River.

Before she could take a step the entire ship groaned and shook. There were banging noises from outside the ship, like someone was trying to get in. Horrible images flashed through Al's head. Could it be Sloth? Or Pride? Both options were equally horrifying.

A long stream of something Al couldn't understand left Wash's mouth and followed him down the hall as he ran for the cockpit. Alphonse stood, ready to fight, but Inara grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the kitchen. She had a hold of River in her other hand and led them to a part of the ship Al hadn't seen before.

A door opened when Inara pushed a button, and they rushed inside. On the far side of the ship he heard the sound of sheet metal groaning and being torn asunder. The compartment before them was draped in silks and pillows. A canopied bed stood in the corner. The Companion pulled open her wardrobe and slid aside a secret panel full off strange items. Al was about to voice an objection when Inara pulled a hairpin from her hair and used it to pry open a second hidden panel. River climbed in as if she'd hidden there before.

"I'm not going to-"

Inara grabbed him by the shoulders. "Alphonse I need you to listen to me. They cannot, under any circumstance, find or capture River. Please. Stay here and protect her. I'm counting on you. She's counting on you."

There wasn't any time, and he couldn't say no to her. "I'll do it." He climbed past Inara and into the wardrobe with River.

"Thank you." There was a crashing sound nearby and Inara's face went pale as she slid the panel back into place. With a click the world plunged into darkness.


	8. Things Get Really Complicated

_Whines and apologizes about the lack of updates. If you love me and want me to write faster you will all send me reviews. Please. I really do write faster when I get feedback. BIG EXCITING THING! The fantastic kaibalikeaboss made a fanmix for Welcome to Serenity on 8tracks! I adore it and encourage you guys to listen to it while reading or something! /kaibalikeaboss/welcome-to-serenity _

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Eight**

**Things Get Really Complicated**

Who was Ed looking for? That was a great question. He sighed. "They'll be using an alias for sure. The real way to tell where they are is to look for the signs. A sudden surge of deaths, most likely unexplainable. Or a sudden shift in a gang's hierarchy or movements."

Jo gave him a blank stare. "That's seriously all you've got for me? This is an outlaw planet. Things like that happen all the time here."

"I know that!" He snapped. "But I don't- ugh! I don't know how else to put it!"

Zoe tried to help. "What about a physical description?"

Ed wanted to scream. "That would be great if I knew which one was here!"

"Which… one?" Kaylee looked at him.

Oh hell. "There's uh, kind of more than one person that I'm looking for. Six, actually. Only one of them came here, though. The problem is I don't know which of them did."

Simon was appalled. "What are you involved in?"

"That's not important!"

"You bet your ass it is." Mal glared across the table. "I don't like it none, but we're involved now. So spill it."

It took Ed a moment to gather his thoughts instead of storming out of the room in a huff. He stared at the grain of the wood on the table before resigning himself. "They are part of a dangerous group. Wherever they go destruction follows. I'm talking large-scale death count. They'll take whatever they want from this rock, destroy every possible witness, and move on to the next. My brother and I have been tracking them for some time now."

"Then how do you know one of them is here?"

"I just do, Kaylee! It's complicated."

They were interrupted when a woman appeared with a box overflowing with bits of metal. "You wanted me, Jo?"

"Yeah. This kid here is gonna try to fix some of the stuff in yer box."

The woman, Rita, set the box in front of Ed. It was mostly full of rusty and broken guns or gun parts. This would be even easier than Ed had expected. Fixing firearms was State Alchemist 101. A cursory glance told him he had enough for five, maybe six pistols. "Okay, I can do this. Rita, is it? Is there a room I can work in?"

"Sure, hon. There's a room next door with some tools you can use." She gestured with her thumb to the left.

"Thanks." He hefted the box and left, smirking. Tools. How absurd.

A few mental calculations and several claps later produced six brand new pistols. Ed tried to keep them as close to the originals as he could manage. The less he had to explain away the better. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd panicked when Jo asked about payment. Six perfect guns couldn't be rationalized. Not in this world anyway. But then again a homunculus could find him at any minute and his patience was about exhausted. Ed needed information.

"Screw it," he growled to himself, piling the guns into the box and heading back.

No one expected him to return so soon. It was all over their faces. "Need somethin, shorty?" Jo grinned.

Edward slammed the box onto the table with a crash. As he spoke, he laid the guns out one at a time with more force than was necessary. "First of all," Thunk. "Don't ever mention my height again." Thunk. "Second of all," Thunk. "You guys should care for your weapons better." Thunk. "And thirdly," Thunk. "I'm finished. There was enough parts to fix up six guns."

Their faces were perfect: frozen in utter disbelief. Jo was what Ed would refer to as straight up flabbergasted. Her mouth was even hanging open. He tried not to laugh. He really did. It just didn't last more than a few seconds. The alchemist cackled. "You should see your faces!"

"Ed." Kaylee looked worried. "Is this some kind of joke? I mean- how?"

"Not a joke. They work. Try any one of them." Eyes flickered from the guns to one another and back to the guns. No one wanted to touch them, like they might explode or something. Edward rolled his eyes and picked one up. He pulled it apart and then reassembled it piece by piece manually. Just like any other gun. No magic here.

"But they were rusted!"

"And now they aren't." Hiding things had just made everything more complicated last time. This was a life or death situation and he had lost the last molecule of patience he possessed. "I don't know if I've stressed the time factor enough here but it seems like I haven't because all of you are staring at the guns instead of telling me what I need to know!"

"You just expect us to believe that you fixed those guns in only a couple of minutes?" Jo stood, a tower of anger.

"Well, here they are."

"It ain't possible!"

"Clearly it is."

The moment broke when a man rushed in with a heavy duty rifle on his shoulder. He was out of breath, like he'd been running. Sucking in air, he rasped out, "We have one hell of a problem! Fa's men just took the Serenity. They actually took it. Hooked a big crane to one of her ships and carried the Gorram thing off!"

"Al!" The terror that gripped Ed was mirrored in the face of Dr. Tamm. He felt petrified for a moment, like he'd been transmuted into stone. What if it was the homunculus? What if it was Pride?

"Da Shiong La Se La Ch'wohn Tian! What is she thinking?" Jo raged. "Oh shit. That bitch! She thinks you're on it, Mal! She's gonna give your Firefly to Kalashnikov!"

"River! She's there! If they find her-" Simon choked on his own fear, the words catching in his throat.

"Are you sure it's Fa?" Ed had to know. "It couldn't be a third party?"

"No way. It's Fa's men. One of her nephews was leading the operation."

Everything began to fade over the sound of blood pumping in his ears. He was suddenly sitting, unable to catch his breath. What was happening to him?

"Ed?" It was Kaylee, he thought, who said his name.

They were wrong. It had to be a homunculus. They were after him, after Al. Oh god, Al. They had Al. For all Ed knew he could be dead. Alphonse could be dead. His head spun and he gulped for air. He was scared. So scared, more scared than he had been in a long time. Everything blurred together.

"-panic attack of some kind?"

"-check his pulse-"

"-can you hear us-"

"Edward!"

The voices were so far away. A hand reached out and took his right wrist. He struggled on reflex, but fingers dug underneath his glove and sleeve as he jerked away in vain. Ed's face snapped up to lock eyes with a very disturbed Dr. Tamm. The sudden, immediate danger shattered the episode and brought with it terrified clarity.

"Don't-" But his sleeve was forced up and the glint of metal flashed for everyone to see. Simon had only managed to pull back several inches of the sleeve in his first tug. Another tug brought the fabric above his elbow. Ed meant to pull away, he did, but found himself frozen from far too many conflicting feelings racing around in his head.

For a moment all he could do was watch the horror and pity settle in their eyes. It was almost like losing his arm all over again every time someone else realized it was missing. Almost. He finally managed to shove away the doctor and stood glaring at the crew of the Serenity. "Yup. It's metal. All the way up." He rapped his flesh knuckles against his shoulder hard enough for everyone to hear the metallic clang.

"Ed-"

"Don't, Zoe! Just- just don't." he knew what she wanted to say, what everyone always wanted to say. Kaylee was crying. Shit.

Mal was the one who got the ball rolling again. "Well if ya'll are done gettin emotional-like, we've got a ship and a crew to save."

Zoe was the first to snap out of it. "You're right captain. Sorry."

They all managed to get seated again, but no one said anything. Kaylee was still sniffling and the doctor looked very pale. Jo looked like she had a headache that only a bottle of liquor could cure. Ed pulled his sleeve back down, making steady eye contact with the captain of the Serenity as he did so. The man seemed to be reevaluating him.

"So," Zoe looked between Ed, Mal, and Jo. "We have our ship captured by a crazy lady who may or may not be working with one of the criminals Ed is after. Who may or may not be capable of widespread destruction. And there's an even crazier lady who wants to crush Mal's head between her club and the ground. Am I missing anything?"

"A little vivid on the imagery there but I think that about covers it." Captain Reynolds grimaced, rubbing his head to dispel phantom squashings. "Now. If anybody has any ideas or plans now would be a great time to mention it."

Jo spoke up first. "I've got an idea for re-capturin your ship, Mal. But you ain't gonna like it none."

"Sounds about right, Jo. Lay it on us."


	9. Questions Answered

_(Insert the apologies and grumblings about the severe and unacceptable lack of updates. No I am not dead.) You know, maybe if I had more reviews telling me how great I am and to hurry my ass up I wouldn't have to torture you so. Maybe. _

_Quick plug for the fanmix again, made by kaibalikeaboss: /kaibalikeaboss/welcome-to-serenity_

_Seriously send me feedback I'm such an attention-driven creature. _

**Welcome to Serenity: Chapter Nine**

**Question Answered**

Al hardly dared to breathe when the men burst into Innara's room. There was shouting and the sounds of furniture being knocked over. The crash of china shattering on the floor made him wince and press his shoulder against River. He couldn't see her, but Al could feel her: ram-rod straight against him as they waited in frightened suspense.

"How dare you! Do you have any idea who I am?" Innara spoke as if she had all the authority in the world, and the men destroying her home were nothing but ants in her eyes.

"Oh we know exactly who you are. Forgive my manners, Companion. I am sorry about the mess my men have made." The voice was thin and high and Al could just feel the haughty sneer no doubt plastered to the man's face. "I am here on behalf of Mistress Fa. She has requested your presence separately from the rest of the crew. I and my men shall personally escort you to her, for your own safety of course. But first we have orders to thoroughly search the room for… anything that might be hiding. Or anyone."

Apparently River could stiffen more than she already had, because that's exactly what she did as clomping footsteps headed toward their hiding place. Al could barely think over the rush of blood pounding in his ears. He'd fight, of course. He'd protect these women who were so kind to him. But he didn't know how many men there were or how they were armed. What if they grabbed Innara? It took everything in him not to jump when the first doors of the cabinet banged open. Distantly he heard more furniture being treated roughly, but all he could focus on was the immediate danger. He was ready. The man shook the wood and knocked things around, searching for a secret panel. He'd probably find the first one, and Al hoped with all his heart that they didn't find the second one. There was a cry of triumph as the first panel was pried open, and the contents were removed.

"Mistress Fa appreciates your material contributions to her enterprises." There was no doubt the man with the high voice wore a grin. "Now, shall we?"

"I can walk without assistance, thank you." Al could hear Innara shoving the men out of her personal space with not just her voice. There were footsteps, receding down the hall. Then, silence.

There were so many things Al wanted to say, wanted to do. But instead he waited, his hand finding River's and she gripped it tightly as they sat together in the darkness, terrified of what the next few hours would bring.

…

Edward couldn't stand waiting another second. He leapt from his seat, startling the room's other occupants, Kaylee and Doctor Tamm.

"That's it!"

Kaylee stared at him. "What's it?"

"I can't just sit here anymore! I won't! I've got to do something, dammit!"

Simon sighed, "Do what? Storm Fa's headquarters all by yourself? She has more than a hundred men under her command, easily. You won't stand a chance."

"No."

The doctor gave him a long, level glare. "Then what?"

Ed wavered. "Well I didn't really get that far yet. But I'm done waiting to hear if my brother is dead!"

"You don't think I feel the same way? My sister is on that ship! Zoe's husband is on that ship! The whole crew- we're a family. We don't have anyone else in the whole galaxy; so if Kaylee and I have to sit here and wait until there is something we can do, then that's exactly what we'll do. Now sit down and quit acting like a child!"

His words cut through Ed like a knife. They didn't halt the burning urge to go running headfirst after his brother, but they put things into perspective. Simon was right. There was nothing for him to do at the moment. He just needed to accept that.

"The child comment was unnecessary," he huffed, but he sat back down. Kaylee giggled and he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Um, Ed?" She trailed off, uncertain. There was a glint in her eyes that Ed knew well thanks to a certain automail mechanic he grew up with.

Ed sighed. "Sure. You can look at the arm. Just don't break it, okay?" He'd certainly made her day. She was glowing with excitement.

"Thank you!" She chirped, beaming. "It's just that I'm an engineer an all and I like ta see how stuff ticks an-"

"It's fine. Really." Ed cut her off. "The uh, my friend who made it is the same way." As he talked he de-gloved, shrugged off his jacket, and began unbuttoning his over shirt. "Every time I see her all she wants to know is if I've damaged her beautiful creation." Even Simon looked intrigued when Ed shrugged off the white shirt, left only in a tank top. Kaylee's hands hovered over the automail, practically begging to touch. He flexed his hand, watching the metal parts move. It was hard to appreciate the feat of biomechanical engineering attached to his arm because it was there instead of his arm.

The first question actually came from Simon. "How do you move it? The coordination is so natural."

"It's hooked into my nerve endings in my shoulder. I think, it moves. The calibration process is an absolute bitch, lemme tell you. One wire gets jarred wrong in there and the pain receptors go off like an explosion."

"Oh Ed, that's awful!" Kaylee gasped.

"Believe me, it's better than having no arm. Plus it's the absolute top-of-the-line model. No better piece of automail out there."

"I'm just sorry you need it I guess."

"I am too, Kaylee. I am too."

The moment was interrupted when Jo burst through the door with a triumphant cry, "we got ourselves a prisoner, folks! Time to interrogate the sonofabitch! Ya'll joinin' the party or not?"

Ed shot out of his seat. "Finally."

They followed Jo out of the conference room, through a long corridor, and down a flight of stairs into a basement. Mal and Zoe were already there, as was a man tied to a chair. The room screamed "torture chamber" from the various questionable stains to the racks of tools on the walls and chains hanging from the ceiling. It even had that unique smell known only to dungeons.

Jo turned to Ed. "Found me one of the Red lieutenants. It's not one of Fa's men, but we thought she might have carted Serenity straight to Kalashnikov. I'm sure I'll get plenty of juicy info out of him regardless." Her grin was predatory and the man in the chair looked terrified. She carried on, sauntering over to the chair. "Now we all know how this game works: I ask you a question, you declare undying loyalty to your mistress, I hurt you a lot, on and on until one of us breaks. And we all know that'll be you. Cause let's face it: I can do this shit all day. 'But she'll kill me' you'll say. Like she isn't already gonna kill ya for gettin your stupid ass captured. So what's it gonna be tough stuff?"

The man blinked. "Shit, I'll tell you anything you want. Kalashnikov's gone straight-up crazy. I'm on the next ship out of this hell-hole the minute you untie me."

"Oh." Jo looked surprised and also maybe a bit disappointed by his cooperation. "Shiny."

Ed jumped in, "What do you mean she's gone crazy?"

"She brought on this new guy as her second. Never even heard o' him before. Started up all these new plans and killin anyone who objected. She's planning on attackin the Alliance. The Gorram Alliance! I don't know what that fella's put in her head but she ain't playin with a full deck no more if ya get me."

"The new guy, describe him." Ed's hands were shaking. He had a horrible feeling.

"Goes by the name Bradley. Ex-soldier type. Got an eyepatch."

"Shit."

Wrath. It was fucking Wrath. He wobbled to Kaylee, who steadied him. If That psycho got a hold of Alphonse-

"That's him. The- the guy I'm looking for. That's him. That's Wrath."

"Wrath? Like the deadly sin?" Asked Zoe.

"Yeah. Like the sin. He's incredibly dangerous. And smart. A military genius."

"Well he sure is the scariest fella I ever seent." Chimed in the prisoner. Ed wished he could say the same. He really did.

He took a deep breath. "Things just got a lot worse. We cannot let him get a hold of Serenity. He will slaughter everyone on the ship, I'm serious. He won't hesitate and he won't bargain. If he recognizes Al it's all over."

Some to think of it, would Wrath even recognize Alphonse now that he wasn't a suit of armor? If Ed were the praying type he'd be on his knees.

"We haven't gotten anything from Fa in weeks, let alone a whole ship. Least as far as I know. Unless she done it in between me sneakin out for one last drink before blastin outta here an gettin captured an tied up an shit."

Well that was something semi-good, Ed supposed. It certainly wasn't 'Oh yeah the ship's been delivered and we executed the whole crew along with your little brother'.

Jo and Mal started interrogating the man further, but Ed couldn't seem to make himself listen. Last time he'd had a plan: a new array combined with the magic of Buffy's world that ripped all of the souls right out of Gluttony's Philosopher's Stone. This time he had no magic to supplement his array. The thing would be useless. How in the hell was he going to kill Wrath?

How the hell was he going to kill Wrath?


End file.
